Sunday, March 21, 2010

An ambigous relationship



He is one of my neighbours. A very friendly, helpful neighbour. His local knowledge, his intelligence, his linguistic skills, his ability to ‘read’ situations make him a very valuable neighbour for a helpless muzungu like me...  If I am in a predicament, I know I can call him and he will come to my rescue. Generosity and spontaneity of the heart. I am quite fond of him. And yet, at the same time, I know I can’t fully and blindly trust him. I am aware that he sees me as a rich white man, that I ‘should’ help him financially, that somehow, I owe him... I know he suggested to Bapiste to buy a lot of petrol for my motorbike and generator so he could pinch a few litres and resell them locally. Today I catch him in the act of transferring some phone credit from my mobile phone to his... When I confront him, saying how unethical this is, he apologises profusely and later carries out my suggestion that he should pay me back the 500Rwf worth of stolen credit, so he can be completely forgiven... (Who am I, to forgive...). I want him to stop and think. Why should he see any muzungu as a rich man who, somehow, owes him something? Why can’t he rely on his intelligence and entrepreneurial skills to make his own money? Let’s leave all this colonial nonsense behind. I detect in his eyes a lot of confusion. I cannot help sensing in me a feeling of guilt and anger at the past intervention of white men on this continent... They have some indirect responsibility for this ambiguous relationship... I end up giving him a hug and give him back the 500Rwf.
I know that if in the middle of the night, under a pelting rain, I ran out of petrol on my motorbike, he would be there straight away with a couple of litres of petrol... of unknown source. He would rescue me.  An ambiguous relationship indeed!

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